You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
