hotel room ftw
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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