Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
