How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
