just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize