Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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