I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
