I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
