You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The best revenge is premature balding
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
