I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I skipped work to stalk him.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
ttyl tear gas
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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