and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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