there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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