did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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