New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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