So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
