"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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