I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
