i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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