I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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