i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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