3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
