I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
