at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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