Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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