Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
