Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
