dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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