you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
