Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
