if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
