Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Will you blow on my dice?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
