Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
this is an emotional support booty call
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
