just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
