god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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