don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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