There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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