i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
