Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
