did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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