How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
