Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
