none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
