I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
