honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
