they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
