weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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