I cockslap morals
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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