I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
