we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
