Redeem this text for a blowjob
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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